My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
