The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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