It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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