If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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