Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
