Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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