Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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