By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
