Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize