Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
