Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
