He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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