I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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