I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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