How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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