He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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