I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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