We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
