I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
