Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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