Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
