dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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