I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
