Where did you get a picture of my penis
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
