I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize