it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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