I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm passing your future prison.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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