You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
