People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
