I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
