her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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