I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
