Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
