hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
