my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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