someone threw a dead crab at me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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