i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
