one might say we're banned from that church
only if we run a train.
done.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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