Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
