i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
