Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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