so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize