i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
