I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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