he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Of course I have a pirate flag
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
