Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
