TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
