I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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