dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
