o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
