He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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