he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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