Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
