Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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