She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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