...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
