I feel like abortions should bother me more
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
