I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
