farters have to be the big spoon...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
