I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
