I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
