I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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