Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
