i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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