I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
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