he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
