and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just found a bag of teeth...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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