Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
